walmart | The View Through The Window

I wouldn’t go there

Posted on May 7, 2015 by sheemsters

It takes me a long time to get ready and out of the house. I take long showers, do my hair three different ways before I’m finally happy with the way it looks, and try to put together an outfit that doesn’t hug back fat or show cleavage.

That last one can take an hour in itself.

So sometimes I’m just not up to the challenge. Sometimes I just want to put on a comfy pair of pajamas, sprawl out onto the sofa, and enter into a coma of laziness.

Most people think that as a stay at home mom, I get plenty of rest during the weekdays and weekends should be reserved for chores and activities.

Eff that shit.

This describes it for me.

Here’s a snippet of a conversation my husband and I had recently :

Hey, want to go out to Menard’s or Home Depot?

– No.

I noticed the boys’ room needs new blinds. We could take a look and see what they have.

– I don’t want to.

Apparently he thinks “no” means I’m playing hard to get.

But we could get new blinds for the whole house.

– I don’t care. I like our house ugly.

What if the neighbors happen to look in and see you naked?

– Send them your condolences.

That last question was just plain silly. We have nice neighbors who pay way too much attention to their lawn and don’t really seem interested in a game of peek a boob.

Anyway, this past weekend I had to be productive, whether I wanted to or not, because my in laws were visiting.

And we had a wedding to attend.

And it was my mother in law’s birthday.

And my brother’s birthday.

And I had homework.

So on Friday I slept for a grand total of four and a half hours and got my ass up at the crack of Sheema, get up, your alarm has been going off for an hour already!

I washed, scrubbed, mopped, cleaned, dusted, vacuumed, swept, and cooked. Every time I thought I could rest, I remembered something else that had to be done.

By the afternoon, I was all

Then it was time to take my tired ass to the wedding. By that point, I just didn’t care anymore. I could’ve been sporting facial hair the size of a cat’s whiskers and I still wouldn’t do anything about it.

I put on the same thing I wore to the last wedding I attended, stuck a bobby pin in my hair, popped in some earrings and off we went.

And because I am tired of typing, here are some pictures.

Beautiful mosque where wedding was held

Entrance

Our table

All the pretty ladies are hungry

Best wedding food ever

Biryani

This stuff was too fizzy

My boys in their best Indian party wear

Curious

My party outfit and bracelets

That was our Friday.

Saturday we went to Lincoln Park Zoo, which meant five hours of constant walking. Yay.

If there ain’t no traffic then it ain’t Chicago

On the way

View from lot

View from Lincoln Park Zoo

Heifers

Hungry Heifer

Feeding cow

Children’s zoo sign

Children’s play area

Big tractor

Rabbit petting time

He was scared at first

It looks real

Pretty bird

Bird food

Fishies

Long necked spotted donkeys. Jk, they’re giraffes.

Picnic area

Sunbathing seals

Zany Zebras

You can see Lake Shore Drive in the distance

The day ended with a fabulous meal at a Mediterranean restaurant called Fatoush. If you’re ever in the Chicago area, I highly recommend it.

Got stuck behind this

Restaurant

Hummus, Baba Ghanouj

Pita

Meat pies

Family platter

My plate

Kinafa dessert

Too full for cake so we settled for cupcakes

Another thing I’d recommend if you visit Chicago : Don’t visit Lincoln Park Zoo.

Sure, they have great views, but apparently they decided it meant that they can short change on the animals.

The exhibits are small, the walking areas are cramped, and traffic/parking is a nightmare.

Everything got done over the weekend except for my homework, which I have been putting off in favor of the funner stuff in life.

Not that blogging is still fun. I’m actually getting pretty bored of not for profit writing.

But it beats having to deal with political science and anthropology.

At this rate, I will fail and remain education/degree less for the rest of my life.

I will be old and fat and working at Walmart until I die.

Oh well. At least I have a plan.

New Year, same crappy weather

Posted on January 5, 2015 by sheemsters

Happy New Year! I’m back! Literally.

We returned late Saturday night from our mini vacation to the in laws house in Terre Haute, IN.

Here are some pics of the view from their huge living room window.

I wanted to take more pictures of their beautiful home but didn’t get the opportunity. I’m lucky to have nice in laws that tell us to leave the boys with them and go out and have fun. In the two and a half days we were there, my husband and I managed to catch the latest Hunger Games movie and have a belated anniversary dinner.

Here are pics of the condiments that came with the bread and the soup I ordered because I thought it came free with my meal.

Terre Haute’s a cute little semi-rural town that’s full of farms, hills, woods, and railroads. I probably think more of it because I associate it with free babysitting and lots of touristy type of fun, but it’s definitely home to some beautiful natural scenery. I managed to get a few pictures of the area, but neither my phone’s camera nor the fugly winter weather did the landscape any justice. I’ll post some spring/summer pictures in the future and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

I also hope to devote a blog post to the neighboring city of Bloomington, IN, which houses the main campus of Indiana University and was my home for a few months after my wedding. I was accepted to IU but unfortunately never attended :(. Bad decision making at its finest.

Here are some really ugly winter pics of Terre Haute for your viewing pleasure. It was a rainy, foggy day when I finally got the chance to drive around town for some camera action.

Terre Haute is home to Indiana State University, which my husband tells me is famous for Larry Bird. Whoever he is. The city also contains the Wabash river state park, which we didn’t get a chance to visit, a huge federal correctional facility, and what seems like half the country’s railroads. It’s definitely train town there.

We had to stop at the local Walmart for some essentials while we were vacationing. When we got back to the car, I adjusted my scarf and found this.

Yes, those are two and a quarter old french fries stuck to my scarf via crusty old ketchup stain. I’m on a low carb diet and mostly sticking to it, so they weren’t even mine. They must have come from my four year old’s lunch, where he was sitting on my lap, and I missed it because they got lost in the folds of an infinity scarf that wraps around your neck a few bazillion times.

And here I was thinking the people at Walmart were staring and giving me the kind of pitying smile you save for homeless people because of the fabulous new way I did my hair. I was slightly embarrassed at first, I must admit, but compared to the other social and fashion faux pas I’ve made, this is pretty minor. Let’s just laugh and move right along, shall we?

We came home to a lovely dinner put together by my family <gushing family love> and this.

Have I mentioned I find winter fugly?

I’ve given up on football for the season, but my husband is still into it because his team, the Indianapolis Colts, are in the playoffs. He’s not loving the outcome of the first round, though, where Dallas beat Detroit. My husband feels bad for the Lions because ~~they live in Detroit~~ they play in the same division as the Bears and the Packers and he feels they never get a fair chance. Lucky for them that this year the Bears decided to suck ass.

I hope not to spend so much time away from blogging in the future and want to thank the internetters who have been wondering where the hell I have been. I started this blog as a means of catharsis after the demise of my social life around (how old is firstborn child? oh, yeah, seven) seven years ago and as a way to keep my writing mojo intact. Soon after, though, I realized I do have a life and it keeps me busy, apparently. But no worries. I return, fashion faux pas and all.

In this corner, the jolly fat guy. In this corner, the other jolly fat guy.

Posted on November 28, 2014 by sheemsters

My seven year old wants to celebrate Christmas. He’d like a Christmas tree with the the works. He insists on presents and stockings. My husband remembers asking the same from his parents when he was that age. I do too. Christmas probably has the distinction of being the most beloved holiday for kids, because of this guy.

What’s not to love about Santa? He’s a fat old jolly dude that brings free toys. Which is great and all except for one minor technicality – we’re not Christian. We’re Muslim. In our house, Dec 25 usually just means we get to sleep in and you have to buy essentials early the day before because even the zombies at Walmart get the day off.

But try telling my kids that. I wouldn’t know where to start. Saying Santa only visits Christian homes makes him sound like a selective, prejudiced bastard, so that was out.

Before you tell me to haul my non conforming ass back to my own country, let me tell you that celebrating or not celebrating Christmas is not the issue here. We respect all religions and to take part in the festivities of any holiday, be it Christmas or Diwali, would just mean more fun for us. Besides, Muslims love Jesus just as much as Christians do. I look forward to buying a little tree and sticking some presents underneath it, while telling my sons I texted Santa the code to our alarm system so he won’t set off the motion sensor.

The issue is that for my kids, Christmas is Cinderella and Eid her fat footed, big nosed sister. No, we don’t celebrate Ramadan, just like you don’t celebrate November. Eid is the name of the holiday and Ramadan is the the holy month that precedes it. In the voting booths of kids brains everywhere, Christmas has taken a far lead over Eid, since one means presents and the other means a month of daily food deprivation. Clear winner here. This isn’t the presidential election of 2000.

In an effort to make the holiday more appealing to kids, my husband and his college friends once thought up a character by the name of Eid Saeed. A Muslim Santa Clause. I don’t know what they were smoking when they did it. Eid Saeed would shake things up for the holiday, all right. The idea of a Muslim guy who enters U.S. air space by magic and goes into people’s homes in the dead of night with a bag full of things you can’t see is definitely going to excite people. Especially the authorities.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I really don’t have any solution to the aforementioned problem so that’s right, I’m just going to leave things hanging. We already make Eid an occasion more enjoyable for our kids than visiting Disney World. I’m not going to fly Mickey Mouse out here now, too, because his ginormous rodent ass only travels first class.