I have converted from hateful comedianism

I used to be a Bill Maher fan.  I liked the way he approached his topics and discussions.  Without fear and with no attempts at being diplomatic.  He never seemed scared or intimidated by anything.

His body language was always of someone at ease, no matter what he was dealing with.  He once wowed me with his ability to get Ann Coulter to shut up.  I don’t know if you are familiar with the woman, but it’s quite the accomplishment.

Then this happened.  😯

What he said doesn’t surprise or shock me.  I’ve heard it all before.  He’s entitled to his views and opinions.  Whatever people want to believe is up to them.

I’m just disappointed that Maher generalized.  That’s such a Fox News thing to do.  I thought he was better than that.

And I have just one question.

When the hell did Muslims ever agree on an issue enough to classify it as the mainstream view? 

Muslims concurring?  That’s news to me.  That headline can definitely “break the internet.”  It’s got even more potential than Kim K’s giant oily ass.

We can’t even agree on when to celebrate our two holidays.  Yeah, just two.  The Islamic calendar runs according to the lunar cycle, so classic discussions about when to hold the occasion of Eid have been Is the moon visible?  Did <enter far off relative> in <enter farther off country> see it?  Was it hiding behind a tree?  It was?! 

In that case, I think I’ll celebrate it the day after my third cousin’s great uncle’s daughter in law’s granny does.  You know, just to be sure, in case Allah is watching and he gets mad that we missed the chance to argue over something. 

My husband no longer calls it moon sighting.  He says the correct term is now moon fighting.

Maher would like us to believe the majority of Muslims support the criminals that perpetrated the violence in France.  That the extremist view is the dominant view.  But what about the Muslim police officer that was one of the twelve victims?  And the Muslim employee at the Kosher deli?  What about Malala Yousafzai and her family?  Abdul Sattar Edhi?  Ahmed Aboutaleb?

Did these people just miss the memo or what?

As the actions of the crazy fucked up minority of the religion get more frequent, I am seeing more of the world calling for the peace loving ones of us to do something about it.  I think they see it as sort of like asking parents why the eff they don’t do something about their delinquent kids.  Except I don’t remember giving birth to evil monsters. Shudders.

That delivery would’ve been something.  Forget the birth. Just consider the episiotomy.

My cousin is more religious than I am.  She covers her hair and I don’t.  She doesn’t gossip and I do.  A lot.   She’s involved with social work and I’m not.  My contribution to the community is to keep my kids from fighting in public places.

We both follow the same book.  She interprets verses one way while I interpret them another.  I don’t say she’s right and she doesn’t say I’m wrong.  We are both free to practice the religion as we see fit.

I don’t understand, then, why we are to blame, apologize, or take responsibility for someone who doesn’t follow her version or my version but chooses to espouse his own evil, perverted version.  I fail to see what we have to do with that.  Or what Buddhists have to do with this.  Or Hindus have with this.

Say we followed the religion of shapes.  I liked circles and you liked squares.  And then some dumb ass mofo decides to bust out a triangle.  Do we give up our love of geometry?

Am I getting anywhere with this, or is my circle story pointless? 😆

It might be for whom nothing we say is enough.  We can condemn until the cows come home and make buttermilk.  We can preach nonviolence, hold interfaith gatherings, give interviews, but they’ll still insist “Maybe most Moslems peaceful, but until they recognize and destroy their growing jihadist cancer they must be held responsible.” 

Thanks, Rupert Murdoch.  How the hell did you get where you are if you can’t even spell Muslim? What else would you like for us peaceful Moslems to do?  Sit on the bombs ourselves?  I’m all for making the world a better place, but how do I do that with my ass falling off of me?

The majority of us are just people simply trying to live our lives.  I’m sure you don’t hear of us, though.  How could you?  “Muslim working, 9-5″ doesn’t make the news.  Muslim dropping kids off at daycare doesn’t either, nor does Muslim enjoying company sponsored free seafood buffet.  Muslim slowly realizing he’s allergic to shellfish might, though.

Before you know it, a whole lotta people are blamed for the actions of some.

That’s not to say Muslims or Islam is in any way near perfect.  Far from it.  We’ve got our problems, like any large, multiracial, and multicultural group would.

One complaint I always had was that Muslims should lighten up and be less judgmental of other Muslims.  The liberal use of the word haram, meaning sinful, is another.  Because haram is everywhere.

I’m haram.  You’re haram.  Is anyone out there not haram?  Come on, people, save the judging for Allah and the afterlife.

Yup, we’ve got issues all right.  And the fucked up, crazy minority is one of them.  Sad that only the stupid ones are heard and spoken about.  Such as this guy.

*Shaking my head in disbelief *

Forget sharing minute similarities of the same faith.  Right now I’m embarrassed to be part of their species.

When I was in middle school, I made the mistake of making fun of the religion of a couple of classmates that had been teasing me.  Yes, I went there.  I regretted it almost immediately, though, and apologized soon after.

I saw the bewilderment and hurt in their eyes at the insult to their god and their religious practices.  I decided  that that was a level I never wanted to stoop to ever again.  A person’s religion is beloved for him or her.  It’s their way of life.  And to ridicule something that important to someone else would truly be a callous thing to do.

In the words of Homer Simpson, “Jesus, Allah, Buddha! I love you all!”

But that’s just me and my way of doing things.  I can’t shove that opinion onto someone else.  If you want to draw cartoons, you should be able to draw cartoons, whether they offend people or not.

I remember watching a news special on the KKK once.  The African American mayor of a large city was in charge of and had to provide the security for the rally that the group intended to host that day.  And of course he didn’t agree with them in the least.  But it was their right.  And rights are and should be equal for all, bucktooth ignoramus included.


  1. lbeth1950 · January 16, 2015

    Why can’t we all just be people with our own beliefs that hopefully make us treat others better. I don’t need anyone to believe like I do except for caring for all our people.


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